Without Her
by Ruan Chun Xian
Summary: Xiao Yan Zi needs to know how important she really is to everyone's life and to the world and it's his job to show her the truth. T for disturbing image and characterisation. 8/2006


**Without Her**

Xiao Yan Zi glared angrily as Yong Qi marched to the door, strode out of the room and into his study, slamming the door behind him. Her whole body trembled as she thought about the words he said.

"Why couldn't for one minute stay out of trouble?" he had shouted frustratedly at her, glaring at her while she sat huffily on the bed. "Why is it that the moment you are out of my sight, something catastrophic has to happen? No lady around here acts as careless and immature as you do, climbing onto everything that stands taller than your head! You are my Fu Jin now, a married lady! Why don't you start acting like it?"

The last remark had particularly stung. So that was it. The truth had finally came out. After a year of marriage, he did not think she was worthy of being his Fu Jin. The remark hurt Xiao Yan Zi more than she cared to feel and she couldn't help a bitter retort, which, of course, only magnified their argument into a row.

It had, of course, started with Xiao Pian Zi, the parrot. It seemed that even after a year of living in Jing Yang Gong, the parrot still felt that Shu Fang Zhai was his home. Today, just as Xiao Yan Zi untied it to move the perch to another position, the parrot flew right past her head and out to the gardens.

Xiao Yan Zi and her household servants chased after the little parrot through half the gardens, as usual, giving the people who happen to past them thorough amusement and exasperation at Wu Fu Jin's antics. It would have been fine until Xiao Yan Zi spotted it perching on a branch of a tree. She flew onto the tree to try and catch the parrot, but of course, even though she was named Xiao Yan Zi, the parrot was much more adept at perching on trees than she. She missed the parrot, and lost her balance, tumbling down the tree into the small pond waiting below. It would not have caused that much damage if Qian Long had not just been watching by with the visiting Mongolian King and some other officials, Yong Qi among them. Xiao Yan Zi's fall into the shallow pond caused water to spash up and drench the Mongolian King as he was standing closest to the pond's edge. Scrambling up out of the pond, totally soaked herself and feeling mortified, Xiao Yan Zi was a sight. She had, through chattered teeth, explained what happened, and by some stroke of fortune, the Mongolian King had a good sense of humour and laughed heartily at the story. This seemed to be the only thing that saved Qian Long and the rest of the Chinese officials around him total humiliation. However, Xiao Yan Zi knew she had embarassed Qian Long, if the pointed look that the Emperor gave her as he told Yong Qi to take her home and get her dry was any indication.

Xiao Yan Zi did not think much of how Yong Qi was grimly quiet all the way back to Jing Yang Gong, since obviously the Mongolian King, who suffered most from the incident, thought it was immensely funny. However, his voice did seem a bit tight as he ordered Tai Yi to be summoned to make sure that Xiao Yan Zi not catch a cold from the water. Xiao Yan Zi really realised that he really was not happy with the situation or as ready as the Mongolian King to let it go after Tai Yi left, and she made a joke which he gave her a withering look for.

The argument started like it always did. One resentful comment from one of them followed by a scornful retort. It ended as much as their every other rows had. Yong Qi stormed out of the room, leaving Xiao Yan Zi pacing in rage in the room, wanting to destroy everything in sight.

Xiao Yan Zi dropped herself on the bed, staring up at the golden canopy above her. She rolled over and slammed a fist into his pillow sitting innocently on the bed. "That's right! I don't act like a Fu Jin! You know, Wu A Ge, if you wanted one of those moulded Fu Jin, who sits all day at home embroidering then maybe you should have married one of them instead! Because I can't be one of them!"

She buried her face into the pillow, and was able to smell the scent of him lingering on the pillow. "Sometimes I wish I've never been born!" she mumbled into the pillow. "Then I wouldn't be here, I would never have met you and have to go through all this!"

Xiao Yan Zi lay like that, her anger seeping out of her by the moment as she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Bright sunlight seem to want to break into her closed eyelids. Xiao Yan Zi slowly opened her eyes and squinted as she was met with bright light, far brighter than it should be in a closed room. As her eyes adjusted, however, Xiao Yan Zi saw she was not in her bed at Jing Yang Gong at all. No, she was standing (Standing? Last she checked, she was lying down!) in the middle of a street in Beijing. Yet a look around her told Xiao Yan Zi instinctively that this was not the Beijing she knew and loved. Everyone around her seemed harassed and stressed. People rushed through the streets looking around warily as if they feared some unknown danger jumping out to get them out of every alley. The usual colourful stalls in the market looked lonely and subdued as nobody lingered in front of them, taking their time with their purchases and enjoying the brilliant sunlit day.

Xiao Yan Zi looked beside her and jumped as she saw, for the first time, the strangest man she had ever seen in her whole life looking down at her with an amused expression. _Nothing like this man had ever been seen in Beijing. He was tall, thin and very old, judging by the silver of his hair and beard, which were both long enough to tuck into his belt._ The thing that struck her most was that his head was not shaved in the front, nor plaited into the customary Manchurian queue. It was tied back with a string and hung over his back. Xiao Yan Zi wondered how he got around the capital wearing his hair like that without being arrested and immediately beheaded. He was wearing the strangest clothes she had ever seen on a person. _He was wearing long robes, a purple cloak that swept the ground, and high-heeled, buckled boots_, made out of a material Xiao Yan Zi could not distinguish or ever saw in her life. _His blue eyes were light, bright and sparkling behind half-moon spectacles and his nose was very long and crooked, as though it had been broken at least twice. This man's name was Albus Dumbledore._

_Albus Dumbledore didn't seem to realise that he had just arrived_ in front of someone to whom _everything from his name to his boots_ were making her wonder if she had just gone crazy from the blood rush to her head from her row with Yong Qi or whether this was just a very very odd dream. He continued to observe her through his half-moon spectacles, the amused expression still on his face. Xiao Yan Zi could only stand and gape (up) at him. Then, shaking herself, she looked around her. No one else seem to notice the very strange man standing next to her. They all rushed past them both as if they were invisible. She turned back to the man, and found him still looking unblinkingly at her. The soulful look unnerved Xiao Yan Zi a bit, though there was something that calmed her about this man. No, if any other man had looked at her with this expression on his face, as if she were something particularly interesting and intriguing, she would be panicking about what he intended to do to her and attack him.

But Xiao Yan Zi, feeling as if she were crazy, could not find anything wrong with this man, despite his peculiar dress, his very unorthodox manners of staring at her and the fact he decidedly did not look Chinese.

"Who on earth are you?" she asked hesitantly when he made no sign of doing anything other than staring at her.

"My name is Albus Dumbledore," he said serenely, still looking at her.

"An - what?" Xiao Yan Zi stuttered over the name as strange as the rest of the man.

"Ah, sadly I have been remiss in checking how Chinese translaters would write my name in Chinese. You must forgive an old man, my dear princess, I had traveled back in time from the late twentieth century to have tea with my old friends, Nicholas and Perenelle*. Catch up on old times, you know, after all, they died a few years ago and I missed them. By lucky coincidence, of course, the random year I chose happened to be in your timeline. Then I was called to help you, you see, so I did not have time to do the proper preparations. Considering I do not speak Chinese, as delightful a language as it is (I never could fit lessons into my schedule, you see), I will use my meager familiarity to the language to attempt to make my name more pronouncable to you. Let me see, you may call me An Bei. After all, as Master Shakespeare said, What's in a name? That which what we call a rose by another name would smell as sweet. Indeed, what you call me would not change the harshness of reality," Dumbledore said, not showing the slightest hint of realising how strange the things he just said were.

"An Bei?" Xiao Yan Zi said in confusion. "But who are you? And if you don't speak Chinese, why do I understand you?"

"We are not conversing in Chinese, my dear princess," Dumbledore merely said.

"What?" Xiao Yan Zi exclaimed incredulously. "How can we not be conversing in Chinese? I don't speak any other languages! My Manchurian is frightfully bad, everyone teases me often enough about that..."

"We are speaking in the Ancient language, the language spoken before the rift at Babel**. Everyone in the world speak this language at birth. They just need to find it inside them." Dumbledore said, as if that answered everything in the world. It didn't. Not to Xiao Yan Zi at least. She had no idea what this 'babble" thing was. "As for who I am, I am Albus Dumbledore, An Bei to you. I am the Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, in England, the year 1996 A.D., but I don't suppose that would mean anything to you. Anyway, in my time off, I do some work as a guardian angel. And here I am, here to be your guardian angel for the day."

Not a single word of what he was saying made the remotest sense to Xiao Yan Zi. She wondered if the man was a bit touched in the head.

"So, Xiao Yan Zi, let us backtrack a bit. Before I appeared and confused you, you were wishing you were never born?" He said conversationally.

"How did you - how did you know that? And I haven't told you my name! How do you - " Xiao Yan Zi stared at him, for a moment feeling very frightened.

"I am to be your guardian angel for the day. The job allows me immediately to know every single little detail of your life. Your real name is Fang Ci, but you were separated from your family as an infant. You used to live in a place called Da Zha Yuan with other poor people, notably Liu Qing and Liu Hong. I know how you met your sworn sister, Zi Wei, how you came into the Chinese imperial palace. I also know that you defied the Emperor by sneaking out his concubine. I know details of how you fell in love with someone who was supposed to be your brother, every trial you went through before and after your marriage, you favourite way to sneak out of the palace to visit your friends at Hui Bin Lou, your most embarassing moments, the number of clothes you have in your closet..." - Dumbledore pondered for a moment, wondering what else to add as Xiao Yan Zi just gaped at him - "...how the back of your neck is particularly sensitive to Yong Qi's kisses," he added as a cheeky afterthought.

Xiao Yan Zi turned bright red and wondered how on earth this perfect stranger knew this. She suddenly realised how far away her row with Yong Qi seemed. What was going on? Was this a dream?

"You got your wish, Xiao Yan Zi," Dumbledore said quietly. He was no longer smiling. There was a sadness in his eyes that made Xiao Yan Zi suddenly feel an enormous weight on her heart. "You are now in Beijing. But not Beijing as you know it, but what Beijing would be if you were never born."

"What do you mean? Why should the fact that I was born or not affect Beijing? Beijing has thousands of people living it in, it doesn't know or care whether I exist!"

"Does it not? You really think your life is with so little significance? There are many aspects to the work of a guardian angel, Xiao Yan Zi, but the most important is to save them from themselves. To guard them from themselves, if you will. People do much more damage to themselves than they do to others. Thoughts can consume people until they lose sense of who they really are. You, my dear, have always had a hot temper. You can let your anger rule your judgement. In your anger, you want unreasonable things, Xiao Yan Zi. Just as moments ago, in your anger, you wished you never were born. I am here to grant your wish." Dumbledore looked piercingly at Xiao Yan Zi as he said this. His voice was grave and the sparkle in his blue eyes was replaced by a steely determination.

"Grant my wish? But if I wished I were never born, why am I here? I am here, am I not? I don't - " Xiao Yan Zi never felt more confused and disturbed in her life. However, the look in Dumbledore's eyes stopped her from running away, back to Huang Gong and jump into Yong Qi's arms like she desperately wanted. Something in his eyes told her things were no longer that simple.

"You are no longer Xiao Yan Zi. You are just a being, that exists momentarily to see what the world would be like without you. Xiao Yan Zi doesn't exist in this Beijing, my dear. She never had."

"No! What? What are you talking about? It can't be! I'm here! I exist!" What Dumbledore was saying could not possible be true! But despite of herself, a sinking part of Xiao Yan Zi knew that this was somehow true. She turned and sprinted down the familiar streets to Hui Bin Lou. Behind her, Dumbledore shook his head sadly. He knew it would be horrific and it would damage her, but he also knew, he had to show her the truth. The hurtful, the painful truth. He could not shelter her. He could not make the same mistake twice. He had tried to protect Harry from the truth and that only resulted in an innocent, good man's death. He could not have the same guilt on his mind a second time. He Apparated to the inn itself, waiting for her.

* * *

Xiao Yan Zi stopped dead in front of Hui Bin Lou, not noticing Dumbledore observing her from a pillar nearby. She stared at the grubby, worn down, mold-covered building in front of her. The sign that read Hui Bin Lou lay trodden and tattered on the ground near the entrace. Everybody who passed the building looked at it in disgust and steered well clear of it. The place reeked of alcohol and a lot of other foul smelling things that Xiao Yan Zi was not sure she wanted to distinguish. What was going on? The question screamed in her mind. How could this be? How could Hui Bin Lou come to this state? Xiao Yan Zi could not imagine the neat-freak, fastidiously tidy and clean Jin Suo letting Hui Bin Lou be reduced to looking and smelling likea rubbish dump.

She gingerly stepped into the threshold of the building. Gone was the cheerful inn that was her home away from the palace. Gone was the vermillion painted pillars and balconies that she had painted herself. Gone were the beautiful paintings made by Zi Wei that hung on the walls. The pilars where once hung the literary couplets written in Yong Qi and Er Kang's neat and beautiful calligraphy were bare. Everything around her was dirty, crusted with foul smelling rubbish.

The room still resembled a restaurant, but not the one that she knew and loved. The tables and chairs were no longer set in neat rows, welcoming guests to enjoy their meals. They were all over the place, scattered randomly about. And ... Xiao Yan Zi closed her eyes and desperately shook herself. She opened her eyes again. The scene was still the same. The waitresses that waited on the guests were not anyone she knew, but the sight disgusted her. The waitresses openly flirted with the male guests, who groped at them without any shame. Xiao Yan Zi could see some of the waitresses attending to more *personal* matters with their guests! And in broad day light, in public! Xiao Yan Zi could hardly imagine being caught kissing Yong Qi in public, much less this sort of behaviour.

How could this be? How could this be Hui Bin Lou? It can't be! The place looked more like a brothel than a restaurant. Certainly, the guests were not interested in the food, which, from what Xiao Yan Zi could see, looked extremely unappetising. Fighting an urgent urge to throw up (not that it would make that much of a difference on the already disgusting floor), Xiao Yan Zi looked frantically around for a familiar face.

The sight that met her eyes as she looked right made the room spin around her. There was Bao Ya Tou, who was barely thirteen, pinned down to a table by a man twice her size. Rage filled Xiao Yan Zi as she strode over and wrenched the man from the girl, hitting the man over the head hard with a chair. Bao Ya Tou, her clothes in total disorder, looked at Xiao Yan Zi with a startled expression but showed no sign of recognising her.

"Bao Ya Tou, are you all right?" Xiao Yan Zi crouched down to the girl's level and asked gently.

"Who are you?" the girl cried, but her voice was high pitched and hysterical, not like the sweet, unassuming Bao Ya Tou that Xiao Yan Zi knew. "He was about to give me money! Give me my money! He said he'd pay me if I let him do things! You've knocked him out now you have to pay me!"

"Bao Ya Tou! What's gotten into you? Why don't you recognise Xiao Yan Zi jie jie?" Xiao Yan Zi cried in distress.

"What's going on?" A rough voice asked. Xiao Yan Zi turned to see Liu Qing standing there, a fierce glare on his face, looking quite unlike the usual jovial Liu Qing but sinister, brutal and rough. Behind him crouched a thin and browbeaten Jin Suo, who trembled on the floor. Xiao Yan Zi looked in horror at the couple. No! Jin Suo was pregnant, wasn't she? Why did she look like that?

"She knocked out my customer! Now I won't get the money he promised!" Bao Ya Tou screamed, hysterical. "Don't beat me! Don't beat me, Liu ge ge! It was not my fault! I don't know who she is!" She practically flattened herself onto the grubby floor, tugging at Liu Qing's threadbare clothes. Liu Qing gave Bao Ya Tou a kick in the stomach, sending her slidding half way across the room. Behind him, Jin Suo only whimpered pathetically.

"Liu Qing!" Xiao Yan Zi cried in rage, shaking her friend. "What are you doing? Where is everyone? Liu Hong?" There seemed to be a mad glint in Liu Qing's eyes as Liu Hong was mentioned. "Where are _you_? Why is everything like this? Jin Suo! Jin Suo, why are you so thin and sickly-looking? What's going on?"

"What's going on, lady," Liu Qing sneered, not sounding like Liu Qing at all. He made the word lady sound like an insult. " is that you need to get out of here before I kill you! You just knocked out a customer of ours! I need to knock you out now!"

There was a demand from somewhere from a customer for someone to serve him, and Liu Qing turned, stabbed Jin Suo painfully in the back with his foot and growled, "Go serve him, you wench!"

Jin Suo tried to stand up but it seemed that every movement caused her pain. She practically crawled across the room.

"Liu Qing," Xiao Yan Zi cried, resisting the urge to give him a punch. "that's Jin Suo! That's your wife, you idiot! How dare you hurt her like that! You promised Zi Wei you would take care of her!"

A gasp sounded as Xiao Yan Zi said this. Jin Suo whirled around and for the first time, Xiao Yan Zi got to look at her. Her eyes were wide, almost mad. She lunged at Xiao Yan Zi, shaking her hysterically with a startling amount of strength for being all skin and bones. "Xiao jie! Give me my xiao jie back! Xiao jie! Where is she?"

"What do you mean, where is she? She's at home, isn't she? She's at home with her husband, Er Kang!" Xiao Yan Zi said desperately.

"Xiao jie!" Jin Suo let out a bloodcurdling, hysterical scream and collapsed on the floor. At the same moment, Liu Qing took Xiao Yan Zi by the collar, and dragged her to the door. She was too shocked, too horrified to react.

"You've knocked out one of my customer, you've started the stupid wench's hysterics that will take ages for me to beat her out of! You've caused enough damage for Liu Qing today, lady! Get out! Get out before I decide to keep you here!"

He threw her onto the streets and Xiao Yan Zi landed painfully hardly on the ground. She could only sit there for a moment, feeling numb and desperately wishing this to be a horrible nightmare.

A warm hand squeezed her shoulder and pulled her up to her feet. Xiao Yan Zi turned her horrified eyes to Dumbledore. He was looking at her with such pain, such sympathy, yet at the same time with such severity and sternness in his eyes that Xiao Yan Zi could not help believe the words he said earlier.

"What on earth is going on?" she still whispered.

"Remember, Xiao Yan Zi, this is a world where you never existed," Dumbledore said. His voice was kind but Xiao Yan Zi could feel the reproach in it.

"How - how - but - "

Dumbledore sighed. "You never existed. Zi Wei never met you so she never could get your help in entering the palace, entering the hunting ground at all. She and Jin Suo never went to the wedding at the Liang's. The bride hung herself before the wedding day. Depressed at her lost chance, Zi Wei wandered the streets with Jin Suo. She stumbled on Liu Qing and Liu Hong's martial arts performance as she did, but her painting and fan got stolen. You see, Xiao Yan Zi, you were not there to see the thief, to catch him. Without any way to find her father or to prove herself to him, Zi Wei went knocking on every magistrate's door in a desperate attempt to find her father. Eventually, she went mad and died of illness, which they didn't have money for treatment. Zi Wei's death made Jin Suo go mad herself. It was a particularly harsh winter and everyone at Da Zha Yuan suffered. Liu Qing sold his sister, Liu Hong for some money to get food for everyone, but even that was not enough. Everyone at Da Zha Yuan except Bao Ya Tou and him died that winter. The guilt of selling his sister to someone unknown unhinged Liu Qing considerably and he lost himself in drinks. This only made him more brutal. Eventually he got a deal with a drinking mate to help him run a prostitution business barely disguised as a restaurant as you see at Hui Bin Lou. Hui Bin Lou takes homeless poor girls on the streets to work for them. Jin Suo is one of them."

All this, Dumbledore explained in an even, expressionless tone, calm and direct as if he were describing the weather. However, the storm in his bright blue eyes told Xiao Yan Zi he was as disturbed about the situation as she was.

"No! No!" Xiao Yan Zi cried, images of the situation Dumbledore just drew out to her appearing vivid in her mind. "No! It can't be! Who are you? Who are you? This is some kind of witchcraft! It can't be like this! What have you done?" Xiao Yan Zi found herself shaking Dumbledore desperately.

"It is not anything I've done, Xiao Yan Zi," Dumbledore said sadly. "This is what you wanted. This is not witchcraft, Xiao Yan Zi, this is reality."

"Stop it! Stop it! This is not real! Zi Wei is still alive! Jin Suo and Liu Qing are happy! They are going to have a baby! Liu Hong is still at Hui Bin Lou! Stop it! Take me back! Take me home! Take me home to Yong Qi!" Xiao Yan Zi sobbed.

Dumbledore cast a sorrowful look at Xiao Yan Zi. "Very well, again, Xiao Yan Zi, as you wish."

* * *

Dumbledore gripped Xiao Yan Zi's arm tightly. _The next thing she knew, everything went black, she was being pressed very hard in all directions, she could not breathe, there were ironbands tightening around her chest, her eyeballs were being forced back into her head, her eardrums were being pushed deeper into her skull, _then suddenly, she was standing in a familiar garden.

Xiao Yan Zi looked around, gasping and taking in mouthfuls of air. _She felt as if she had just been forced through a very tight tube. _She was in the imperial garden. For a moment, she sighed with relief. Before the breath made it out of her, however, Xiao Yan Zi caught sight of Dumbledore, looking grave. Her heart sank. No! She wanted to go home!

"I am sorry, Xiao Yan Zi," Dumbledore said. "But reality is reality."

Xiao Yan Zi looked fearfully around. The garden was beautiful as ever. But there was a coldness in its beauty. Xiao Yan Zi could feel goosebumps forming on her arms. The place seemed suddenly so sinister, so frightening. How could that be? She was just here a couple of hours ago, chasing after Xiao Pian Zi, wasn't she? How did the warm, inviting smiles of the blooming flowers suddenly feel now to her like evil sneers?

Dumbledore steered her to a patch in the garden surrounded by guards.

"They cannot see us," Dumbledore informed her.

On a throne-like, magnificient golden chair sat a man dressed in yellow Emperor's robes. His face was turned away from her, and he was casually sipping his tea. In the middle of the crowd of guards, on the ground, was a squirming bundle covered in course, rough material. What ever was in the bundle seemed to be bound tightly. It took Xiao Yan Zi several moments and a child's wail to realise with horror that the bundle was a baby trying desperately to sit up and move. Some small distant away, a woman was held back with guards, but she was screaming, tears running down her face.

"Huang Shang! Have pity! He is just a baby, barely two years old! Please! Even if you do not see him as your brother, he is still your father's child! Huang Shang! Please!"

Xiao Yan Zi stared as if transfixed at the woman madly struggling against the guards to get to her baby. It was Ling Fei! But she looked much older, more tired, weary, and heartbroken! Xiao Yan Zi would have collapsed if Dumbledore did not hold her up as she realised that the baby must be Yong Yan. What was Yong Yan doing on the floor? And who was the Emperor?

"Huang Shang, please! Have mercy! I loved you as my own! I saw you as my own son! I loved you! If that ever meant anything to you, spare Yong Yan! Spare him! He is just a baby! He can't hurt you! Please! Please!" Ling Fei continued to cry.

Slowly, the Emperor put down his teacup and gave a lazy flick of his hand. Two eunuchs approached and began kicking Yong Yan, who lay on the ground, around like a ball. Xiao Yan Zi's head suddenly filled with Ling Fei's screams and Yong Yan's cries, which started as loud wailing but grew fainter. Xiao Yan Zi lunged forward. Dumbledore held her back.

"It will not work. They cannot see us, hear us or interact with us. You will not be able to touch any of them either."

"What?" Xiao Yan Zi cried. "But Liu Qing and Jin Suo - "

"That was different. I do not want you to interfer with this. You can only watch this, Xiao Yan Zi," Dumbledore said, sounding like even his own even control was breaking.

"No! No! How do you tell me to watch this! It's Yong Yan! He's just a baby! They're going to kill him!"

Breaking free from Dumbledore, Xiao Yan Zi threw herself at an eunuch, but her body fell through the air as if the eunuch was not there at all! She collapsed on the ground. No one around her seem to notice she was there at all. Dumbledore was right. She could not touch them. Xiao Yan Zi gropped around at Yong Yan, trying desperately to hold him, but it was as if she was trying to grasp air. He was there! He was in front of her! Why couldn't she hold him?

Then she looked up. And she saw him. The scream of horror didn't seem to be able to leave her lips.

No! Her tears were making her see things! It could not be him! No!

He was watching the display of Yong Yan being kicked around like a ragball with cold, unemotional eyes. There was a glint almost like fascination in his eyes. He leaned back against his chair and seemed to take in the scene in front of him with pleasure.

Xiao Yan Zi could only look up at him in shock. Everything seemed to collapse around her, and she could see nothing but those cold eyes, the slight smirk on his face, enjoying the brutal scene in front of him.

* * *

Then the world filled with fog and when the fog cleared, everything had frozen in a tableau around her and Dumbledore. She seemed to be frozen to the ground.

"You are going to tell me what happened," Xiao Yan Zi said in a hollow voice. Even she did not recognise the sound as a her own voice. She was too numb to really register that her mouth was even moving.

"Yes," Dumbledore said, crouching down level to her. For the first time, his voice was gruff. He knew this is the most devastating blow of what he must show her. But it would be the one thing that convinced her how valuable she was to the world. "We go back to the fact that you never met Zi Wei and Zi Wei never came into the palace. Therefore she was not there to take the knife for Qian Long. The Emperor Qian Long therefore died."

Dumbledore paused.

"Huang Ah Ma's dead," Xiao Yan Zi whispered in the same hollow voice. She turned to look at Dumbledore' unfathomable blue eyes. Tears seemed to be locked cold as ice within her. "And?"

"Before the trip, Qian Long intended to review his will. Therefore the old will was destroyed before he left on the trip but the new one was not yet in place. No one knew, therefore, who was willed to succeed him. War broke out among the princes. In the end, Wu A Ge took the throne as Emperor Tang Yuan. Many of princes either were killed in the struggle for power or feel that they must succumb to Tang Yuan's rule to survive. The time we are in mark one year since Tang Yuan's coronation. Shi Wu A Ge was virtually untouched in the power struggle because he was just a baby and Ling Fei did not take part in the struggle for her son but stood in the sideline. No one deals with a baby when there are bigger enemies on the loose. But now...all threats to his power are gone, but his road to the throne made Tang Yuan especially paranoid. There was a rumour that Ling Fei was simply bidding her time and was planning a coup to put her son on the throne. Tang Yuan felt he must act quickly. Under some set up charges that Yong Yan was not Qian Long's son he ordered the scene you just witnessed here."

"No, no, no, no, no, no!" Xiao Yan Zi moaned, her voice growing in pitch and volume. She put her hands over her ears and scrunched her eyes shut. But the scene that froze in front of her appeared just as vividly in her mind. Dumbledore went on mercilessly.

"As I said, the power struggle made Tang Yuan paranoid. He trusts no one anymore. Spies are all over Beijing, any family with the least suggestion of being against the throne would have their entire clan wiped out. Raids are performed often throughout Beijing for signs of rebellions. Life for people of Beijing had become one of suspicion and fear. Soon after he came to the throne, Tang Yuan ordered the deaths of Er Kang and Er Tai, his best and most loyal friends, along with their parents, in the paranoia that they would turn against him."

"NO!" Xiao Yan Zi screamed. No! Her Yong Qi? Her gentle, kind, loving prince? It could not be! She thought about how Yong Qi was closer to the Fu brothers than to his own brothers. She thought about how many times they've risked their lives together, how many times they've been together through danger and threats of death, how they could die for each other. And now...the entire Fu family was dead...on Yong Qi's order? Xiao Yan Zi felt sick to think of it. She was shivering all over, and she knew she was being engulfed in her worst nightmare.

"Six months ago, Han Xiang and her father came to Beijing as they did, but this time, Han Xiang was given as a gift to Tang Yuan instead of Qian Long," Dumbledore continued.

Xiao Yan Zi lifted her eyes to stare at Dumbledore. The idea sounded so incredibly absurd. Han Xiang, as Yong Qi's concubine?

"Of course, Tang Yuan, like Qian Long, found out the truth of where Xiang Fei's heart really lay. He was not quite as tolerant of the situation as Qian Long was, of course."

"Don't! Don't! I don't want to know! I don't!" Xiao Yan Zi whimpered.

"You need to know," Dumbledore said simply. "He had Meng Dan killed and his flesh made into a meal which was then offered to Han Xiang..."

The full horror of the situation filled Xiao Yan Zi's every sense. She had a hard time imagine anyone being so cruel...so heartless...but Yong Qi? Xiao Yan Zi felt herself going mad with the information she was being force-fed.

"...Then Tang Yuan personally told Han Xiang what the meal was made of. Han Xiang killed herself after that."

Pain, white hot, blinding pain filled Xiao Yan Zi as she finally realised, in all its full force, what all this meant.

"How could this be? Yong Qi can't be...he can't! He doesn't even want the bloody throne! Why - He'd leave the throne for me! How could he ever do any of this?" Xiao Yan Zi sobbed.

"Because you never were born, Xiao Yan Zi," Dumbledore said patiently. "He is the man he had become in this universe because he never met you!"

"No! No! No!" Xiao Yan Zi screamed at Dumbledore. "I can't have that much control over his life! How could I have so much effect on him? What if it were in this universe? It was not as if he were like this before he met me and I changed him! He still would be the same person he was before he met me! Wouldn't he?"

"Yes," Dumbledore said in sorrow. "Yes, before the struggle for power began, he was still more or less the Wu A Ge he was at the moment he shot you with that arrow."

"He can't change that much! A person can't... I fell in love with him because he was kind, because he was loyal to his friends, because he was everything that was not this - this - this - No! Yong Qi can't...He would die before he ever thought about harming the Fu family...or Ling Fei...or Yong Yan...Yong Yan! It's his little brother! He's innocent!" Xiao Yan Zi knew she was hysterical and she didn't quite know who she meant by 'he' in the last comment anymore - Yong Qi or Yong Yan.

"Xiao Yan Zi, before Yong Qi met you, he was Wu A Ge. An prince's expectation in life consists of nothing but position in court, power, and the throne. Then he met you and for once, someone told him that there were things much more important than power and the throne. In meeting you, he was given a chance to live life as a man, not as a prince. He was given a chance to put his expectations on something other than what he'd been taught to value all his life. You gave him life." Dumbledore paused and looked directly at her with his piercing blue eyes. Xiao Yan Zi could only stare back at him as if hypnotised.

"Yong Qi survived this universe's power battle on his wit and his intelligence," Dumbledore continued. "The more he saw of the blood bath that was the road that led to the throne, the more he was disgusted. But in everyone of us, there is an animal instinct for survival, Xiao Yan Zi, and Yong Qi's instinct told him to ignore the disgust and fight on if he wanted to survive. Eventually, the fight roots itself into his being. His very survival becomes his obssession. This is what he had become, Xiao Yan Zi, because you did not exist."

"But...how could he be so cruel?" Xiao Yan Zi asked the immediately question that came to her mind, her voice helpless.

"Survival in a struggle for power is often a matter of being clever enough to realise that you need to be ruthless to survive. It's a battle where the cruelest, the most ruthless come out unscathed because they did not shrink back from annihilating all that threatened their survival. Survival only can be when you hold power in your hand, power over other people. Power is a deadly thing, and it corrupts the human heart, Xiao Yan Zi."

Dumbledore paused again, sighing. "Do you not see, Xiao Yan Zi? You have power over his heart. In meeting him, in loving him, you opened his heart, you showed him how to think with his heart. Since childhood, he had always been taught to keep his emotions under guard, to not let his heart get in the way of reason, to steer clear of "weak" feelings. Reason could only get you so far, whereas your heart could lead you to places that reason never could. His heart led him to be willing to give up his title for you, but that is because you used your love to give him reason to trust his heart. But without you, he will always live with a closed heart, like what you have just seen."

Xiao Yan Zi stared at Dumbledore, her eyes wild. Then she grabbed the old man by his arms and shook him desperately. "If I had that kind of power then let me talk to him, let him see me! Let me talk to him."

For the first time since all this begun, Dumbledore hesitated. He knew what could happen if he let Xiao Yan Zi and Yong Qi interact. Was it too much? Was it enough? What would happen when he did pull her out of it?

Then he met Xiao Yan Zi's eyes. He knew his job could not be complete if he did not end it this way. He must, no matter how he knew it would hurt her.

* * *

Xiao Yan Zi and Dumbledore appeared in the royal study at Qian Qing Gong.

Yong Qi was bent over at his desk, reading something. For a moment, Xiao Yan Zi just stood there, gazing at him. He did not look much different from the Yong Qi that she knew. This gave her a bit more strength.

Taking a deep breath, she whispered, "Yong Qi?"

Yong Qi's head jerked up and immediately upon seeing her, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Who are you?" he demanded coldly.

"Yong Qi, please, it's Xiao Yan Zi! I know you know me! I know you do! Look into your heart, Yong Qi! Please!" Xiao Yan Zi said, looking intently at him. She reached out to take his hand, but he roughly shoved her away.

"How did you get in here? You dare call my name? " Yong Qi demanded angrily.

"Yong Qi! Please, just listen to me, please..." She cried desperately, looking furtively at the door to see if any guards had heard the commotion.

Yong Qi merely gave her a sneering look that sent chills all over Xiao Yan Zi's body. "What could you say that I could possible want to listen to?" He said. There was a pause, long enough for Xiao Yan Zi to detect a mad glint that she had never before seen gleaming in his eyes. Then he said slowly, "Though on second thoughts...I think I have an idea of how to *deal* with you...and I shall look forward to hearing your...response..."

His voice was cold, slashing like ice across her heart as the implications of his words sank into her. Xiao Yan Zi looked into his eyes and could not see any trace of the gentle Yong Qi that she loved. Fear gripped her heart painfully. She had never faced such fear, not when she faced Huang Ah Ma's anger, not when she faced death, not when she faced her heart's insecurity of losing Yong Qi's love. Yet now, she was terrified. Petrified. Along with the fear, what hit her even more painfully was the fact that it was Yong Qi who roused this fear within her. Yong Qi who she loved, Yong Qi who she was to spend the rest of her life with, Yong Qi who she could be angry at, but had never ever been afraid of.

Yong Qi swept his eyes from the top of her head to her toes. The look and the lust that filled his eyes filled her with disgust and left her more exposed than she had ever been in her life. A wicked, malicious smile appeared on his lips.

"Yong Qi, please, this is not you! Don't...don't do this, Yong Qi! Yong Qi - " Xiao Yan Zi's voice faltered as he took a step towards her. She gulped but couldn't seem to be able to move.

He raised a finger and ran it lightly down her arm, but it was not the warm, gentle touch that she loved from him. His eyes didn't shine with love like they always did, but with pure lust, and the touch seemed to freeze her even more to the spot.

"Yong Qi," Xiao Yan Zi whispered hurriedly, "Yong Qi, I love you. I love you, I do, but...not like this, Yong Qi...not like this..."

Yong Qi gave a cold, menacing laugh that made the room suddenly feel icy and ominous. "Love? What does love have any room in this? This is not anything about love, woman. This is just my having a bit of fun."

"No," Xiao Yan Zi gasped and stumbled back a couple of steps. Yong Qi reached out and pulled her violently to him. "No! Yong Qi, please stop! Stop it! Stop it! Please!" Xiao Yan Zi felt her sobs taking over her as she struggled wildly against him, finally shoving him hard. Yong Qi stumbled and lost grip on her. Part of her told her to run, to run far away from this creature that only looked like her Yong Qi, but once again, Xiao Yan Zi found herself unable to move.

Yong Qi gave a growl of anger and sent a stinging, blinding slap across Xiao Yan Zi's face that made her fall to the ground. The sound of the slap seemed to echo in the air as Xiao Yan Zi clutched her cheek, ignoring the trickle of blood running from the corner of her mouth and stared at him in horror.

Yong Qi pulled her forcibly to her feet and pressed her against him. His mouth descended on hers in a brutal kiss. It was not a kiss that she ever wanted to share with Yong Qi. It was hard and cold, and it choked her. Xiao Yan Zi struggled hopelessly against him as his hands came at her shirt and tore it open...

...then everything went dark and dissolved around her.

* * *

"Xiao Yan Zi! Xiao Yan Zi!" A voice was calling her, shaking her.

Xiao Yan Zi sprang up into a sitting position, gasping, breathing heavily. She looked around. She was in Jing Yang Gong. She was sitting on her bed in Jing Yang Gong.

Xiao Yan Zi looked wildly around, and saw that Yong Qi was holding her by the shoulders, looking at her intently. She looked at him, and though her eyes did see her own Yong Qi again, in her mind flashed images of the cold eyes of the man he could have been. His laughter rang cruelly in her ears. Her eyes widened in horror and she jerked away from him and scurried to the corner of the bed, curling up and refusing to look at him.

"Don't touch me, don't touch me! Please, just don't..." she whimpered.

"Xiao Yan Zi, I'm sorry I was angry at you," Yong Qi said. However, the look she just gave him and the tone of her voice told him that this was no longer about their fight earlier. Yong Qi felt something squeeze his heart painfully as he tried to digest the look of pure terror in her eyes when she met his.

"I'm not angry," Xiao Yan Zi whispered, burying her face in her arms, not looking at him. "But please just leave me alone! Please!"

Yong Qi hesitated, but something told him that he really should do what she asked. He walked slowly to the door, looking back at her curled up figure on the bed, feeling more and more worried by the passing moments.

Xiao Yan Zi heard the door close. Left alone, she shook violently and sobs broke over her. Vivid images of the dream appeared in her head. She tried pushing them away but it seemed totally futile. Xiao Yan Zi was not even sure that it was a dream. It was so real, so vivid. But how could it really had happened? The strange man, Dumbledore, the alternative universe...the whole idea was incredulous...

Xiao Yan Zi put a hand to her cheek. Was she imagining it or did her cheek really did still sting from the slap? No, her mouth hurt, it really did. Sucking in a breath, Xiao Yan Zi grabbed a small mirror by her bedside table. There was a bruise at the corner of her mouth. The idea that it was not a dream terrified her even more. After all, if she could convince herself it was a nightmare, then perhaps she could eventually forget. But this...this meant that it somehow did happen, and that she did travel to some alternative universe where she didn't exist...

Xiao Yan Zi startled as a gentle knock came at the door. Then, Zi Wei's soft voice said, "Xiao Yan Zi, may I come in?"

"Yes," came Xiao Yan Zi's shaky answer. She looked up, still in her curled up position as Zi Wei entered the room, worry etched across her face.

"Xiao Yan Zi? Are you all right? You aren't feeling ill, are you?"

"I - I - " Xiao Yan Zi began and then promtply burst into hysterical tears.

Zi Wei hurried in alarm to her friend's side. She pulled Xiao Yan Zi into her embrace and stroked her back.

"What is it?" Zi Wei asked gently.

"You're - you're here...you're alive!" Xiao Yan Zi gasped through sobs. Zi Wei stared at her.

"Xiao Yan Zi, are you quite all right? Of course I'm alive!" Then it seemed to dawn on her. "You had a bad dream, didn't you, Xiao Yan Zi?"

"I don't know," Xiao Yan Zi whispered. "I don't know if it was a dream. It was so real..."

"But Yong Qi said you were asleep. And what happened to your mouth anyway?" Zi Wei noticed the bruise for the first time.

"That's why I'm not sure whether it was a dream. I got slapped in the dream...but if it were a dream, then why is there a mark?"

Zi Wei furrowed her eybrows. "What happened, Xiao Yan Zi?"

Xiao Yan Zi began telling her everything that happened, in a very shaky voice. "...then the next thing I know, Yong Qi was shaking me and I sat up and..."

The two girls were silent for a while. "Well, I can see why after...after something like this you might not want to see Yong Qi. But Xiao Yan Zi...this isn't real...it..." Zi Wei trailed off, feeling as lost as Xiao Yan Zi as she took the bruise into consideration.

"It could be real...it's what could have been!" Xiao Yan Zi persisted.

"But it's not! You're here, aren't you? You exist! You're alive!" Xiao Yan Zi was silent. "It's more, isn't it?" Zi Wei asked quietly.

"His eyes...when he looked at me...it was so cold, Zi Wei. No one, no one had ever looked at me like that, like I was nothing...like I was just something thing to use then be thrown away...And I felt like that, Zi Wei, I felt like I was that... I never... that he'd be the one to give me that look..."

Zi Wei bit her lip at the haunted look on Xiao Yan Zi's face. She pulled her into her arms and whispered, "Oh Xiao Yan Zi."

"And he wouldn't stop!" Xiao Yan Zi's voice grew shriller as she shook in Zi Wei's arms. "I begged him to stop and he wouldn't..." Her voice died as she shook with sobs again.

"Yong Qi loves you, Xiao Yan Zi," Zi Wei whispered fiercely. "You know he does! He's nothing like that - that - He loves you! You know he would never do anything to hurt you like that!"

"It scares me," Xiao Yan Zi whispered.

"What does?"

"That if...if all that is what he's capable of if he hadn't met me, what's saying that there isn't some of that somewhere hidden inside him? What if... there is that streak of cruelty..."

"You don't believe that!" Zi Wei cut across her sharply.

"I don't know what to believe anymore," Xiao Yan Zi whispered.

"Xiao Yan Zi, it was a dream. That's the only possible explanation. You must have hit on something while you thrashing around or something and that's the bruise."

"It's extremely hard to hit something at the corner of your mouth, Zi Wei," Xiao Yan Zi reasoned.

Zi Wei stared at her incredulously. "You believe that you traveled to some alternative universe with a man who miraculously know everything about your life?"

"I - "

"OK, assuming that something this impossible did happen, don't you think maybe all this is just a vision thoroughly magnified to get you to realise how important you are to Yong Qi, to us?" Zi Wei said reasonably. "You said before it happened you wished you were never born. Then isn't this just something to warn you that you should never wish such a thing?"

Xiao Yan Zi just stared at her, wide-eyed. Zi Wei sighed.

"Xiao Yan Zi, you know Yong Qi. He could never be like that...you know he can't!"

In her heart, Xiao Yan Zi really did realise that her Yong Qi, the Yong Qi she loved could never be that man. But in her head, his cold eyes still bore into her, haunting her. She shook her head desperately and tried hard to concentrate on the Yong Qi that she knew, the Yong Qi who loved her.

"How is Yong Qi? I mean, he was angry at me before..."

"He's not angry anymore, he's worried about you. He told me about your fight and how he came into the room to find you thrashing around on your bed, drenched in sweat and screaming. And then he said you gave him a look that unnerved him. He really is worried about you, Xiao Yan Zi."

"He woke me up and I couldn't look at him without seeing...without hearing..." Xiao Yan Zi shivered.

"I understand," Zi Wei whispered. She held Xiao Yan Zi like that for a long time. "Xiao Yan Zi? Do you think you can see Yong Qi now? I know he must be worried sick about you...we've been in here for a while."

Xiao Yan Zi hesitated. She took a deep breath and then nodded. Zi Wei squeezed her hand before going out of the room to find Yong Qi.

* * *

Back in the room by herself, Xiao Yan Zi shook herself. She stood up and walked around the room. It was her room, just as she knew it. She knew she was back in her own reality, because Zi Wei was here. So why couldn't she shake away the visions she saw in her sleep?

She turned to go back to the bed and nearly collided into Dumbledore.

"Oh no," Xiao Yan Zi groaned, closing her eyes. Now what?

"I thought you might want some explanation," Dumbledore said mildly.

"I could explain it to myself that it was a nightmare if you are not here," Xiao Yan Zi said resentfully.

"It was not a dream," Dumbledore said, ignoring her impolite tone. "You know it was not. However, no matter how you choose to explain it to yourself, I can only tell you it really did happen. Life is an infinite being, you know. It does not move in just one direction. There are twists and turns, there are shortcuts, there are different branches of life. Universes of the what-could-have-been always exist along side with the reality that you live in. Very few people get to see these alternative universes, and that, as I think you will agree with me, is a blessing. People will always think the grass is greener on the other side and will never completely be happy with their life. However, they must learn to understand that there are worst alternatives out there. You, my dear, have just learnt that the hard way. Your life, as Xiao Yan Zi, as Wu Fu Jin, had brought you much hardship and frustration, but it is a life, Xiao Yan Zi. You are here because someone decided to give you a chance to live and make a difference in the world. That, in itself, is a blessing."

Dumbledore paused. Then he sighed sorrowfully. "I wonder if I had been too hard on you, in giving in to your request to let your interact with the Yong Qi of the universe without you. I knew what happened could happen, and I knew it would hurt you. I just did not know how you would deal with that hurt. Remember, Xiao Yan Zi, the man you saw in the other universe is only that way because you were never born. Your husband, meanwhile, is a very different man. They may be born the same, but their lives and identities split the moment you were born. I showed you who he could have been not so that you could appreciate them to have been born the same person, but for you to appreciate that they grew up to be different people. And I hope, in distinguishing their two identities, you will come to appreciate your own existence and life more, because you know what could have been. I know the wish you made was made out of a childish temper, but even in a temper, you must realise that even when life as Wu Fu Jin might stifle you with all its expectations, rules and scrutiny from outsiders, you *are*, and that is a blessing. Things could be much worst if you are not at all."

And on that slightly cryptic note, Dumbledore disappeared with a small pop, leaving Xiao Yan Zi to wonder whether she really had just gone mad.

* * *

_Meanwhile_

Zi Wei entered the study to find her brother standing with his back to her. His posture seemed oddly stiff and his fist was clenched behind his back.

"Yong Qi?" Zi Wei whispered softly.

Yong Qi turned to face her and Zi Wei could see that he was thoroughly disturbed. The preoccupied look in his eyes made Zi Wei realise what must have happened.

"You heard the story, didn't you?" Zi Wei asked.

"Yes," Yong Qi said gruffly, still trying to take in the story he heard from outside the door. "Do you think that it really could have happened like that? If Xiao Yan Zi never existed? If we never met her?"

"I - " Zi Wei faltered. It was not something she had time to ponder herself. "I don't know. I mean, thining back...it could. Before I met Xiao Yan Zi, I had no way of getting to Huang Ah Ma, of ever meeting him at all. And if it weren't for Xiao Yan Zi, really, my fan and painting would had been stolen then I wouldn't have had any proof for my identity even if I ever found a way to meet Huang Ah Ma. And I was running out of money...so I don't know..."

Zi Wei heaved a big sigh. "But...Yong Qi...I think Xiao Yan Zi's a lot more disturbed about what she saw regarding you."

"I know," Yong Qi whispered. He closed his eyes. He could not imagine himself in such a position as Xiao Yan Zi had described. How could he ever have brought himself to do such deeds? He knew, in his heart, that he could never do it. Not in this lifetime, not as the person he presently was.

"Yong Qi, everything that Xiao Yan Zi described...it's not you! You know it's not!" Zi Wei said firmly, looking at him intently.

Yong Qi stared back at her. "I know," he whispered again. "But...that doesn't change the fact that...dream or not, Xiao Yan Zi saw all that and it haunts her...You didn't see the terror in her eyes when she looked at me as she woke up, Zi Wei. It was as if she was faced with her worst nightmare ... or ..."

"I think then you just jerked her out of her worst nightmare," Zi Wei said darkly.

"I can't stand to have her look at me like that, Zi Wei. It was terror, Zi Wei...It was just one look but it said it all and it will haunt me forever!"

"Then show her that she will never have reason to look at you like that again, not in this reality, at least. Show her you are are nothing like what she saw in that ... whatever it was, nightmare or vision," Zi Wei said calmly.

* * *

Yong Qi entered the bedroom to find Xiao Yan Zi standing in the middle of it, staring at the space in front of her with a perplexed and confused expression.

"Xiao Yan Zi?" he whispered gently.

Xiao Yan Zi whirled around to face him, looking at first defiant, then when she saw that it was him, she immediately looked away, as if she didn't trust herself looking at him.

"Xiao Yan Zi, love, it's me, it's Yong Qi," he said again, taking a step closer to her. She didn't move away, which he took to be a good sign. However, she was still staring determinedly in the opposite direction from him.

Hesitantly, Yong Qi reached out to touch her shoulder. She immediately flinched and Yong Qi quickly drew his hand away. But his voice was persistent, "Darling, please look at me."

Xiao Yan Zi closed her eyes and slowly turned towards him. Then, slowly, hesitantly and flinchingly, she opened them, as if almost afraid of what she was going to see.

She opened her eyes and met Yong Qi's gentle, loving gaze. Her body relaxed a little as she only saw love, comfort and reassurance shining in his eyes.

"It's all right, love, I am not going to hurt you," Yong Qi whispered again, stepping another step towards her, so that they were standing very close together. In fact,he could lean over and kiss her.

Xiao Yan Zi looked up at him breathlessly and his eyes remained fixed on hers, determinedly showering her with unspoken words of love. "Is it really you?" she whispered for the first time, timidly reaching up to place a hand lightly against his cheek.

"Xiao Yan Zi...Xiao Yan Zi...I'm here. Nothing is going to hurt you. I'm here, darling." He slowly lifted his hand and tentatively cupped her face in them. She did not pull away but just looked at him, albeit with a little less wariness and hesitation in her eyes now.

Xiao Yan Zi gazed into his eyes, and whispered as if in wonder, "It's you...it really is you! You're really here...you're really my Yong Qi."

Yong Qi smiled and feeling slightly reckless, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his embrace. But Xiao Yan Zi could only feel the familiar warmth and giddiness of being held by him engulfing her as she buried her face in his chest, inhaling his scent.

"I love you, Xiao Yan Zi, I love you very much," Yong Qi put his mouth close to her ear and whispered.

"I know," Xiao Yan Zi breathed against his chest, wrapping her own arms around his waist. And she did. Then, keeping her arms' grip around him, she pulled slightly away from him so that she could face him. She looked up at him, her eyes shining with relief, happiness and love, and said again, with conviction in her voice, "I know."

"Never doubt it, love," he said softly to her. Then, with an impish grin, he added, "Even when we might be arguing or I might lose my temper and shout unreasonable things at you, don't ever doubt my love for you!"

Xiao Yan Zi gave a laugh. "I won't," she whispered, bringing her arms up to circle his neck.

Xiao Yan Zi could only gaze into his eyes for a long moment, before she was aware that their faces had somehow moved to be very close to each other. Xiao Yan Zi smiled and whispered, "And I love you," before closing the gap between them and kissing Yong Qi.

Now that the shock and horror of the vision had subsided a bit, that she had poured her fears and terrors out to Zi Wei, and she had had time to digest the significance of Dumbledore's parting words, Xiao Yan Zi could only savour the delight of being in Yong Qi's arms again, after all that turmoil, and the seductive sensation of his lips on hers. Her life suddenly seemed brighter and more meaningful to her, as the part of her mind that was not intoxicated by Yong Qi's kiss finally understood the purpose of Dumbledore's visit. She lived, to make a difference. She was given a chance to be, and that was a blessing.

The End

A/N: Dumbledore was really not part of the plan. He just appeared with the writing. :-) I thought it extremely funny for Dumbledore to show up in Xiao Yan Zi's China, of all places. It was a weird moment that I had. I managed to explain out the fact that Dumbledore is here despite the fact that he was not alive in the period, I guess, with a bit of Time Traveling and Nicholas' help. Everything in italics is from Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, US Edition, Chapter 1.

*Nicholas and Perenelle Flamel: Nicholas Flamel was the reputed alchemist who apparently was able to turn metal into gold and produce the Elixir of Life which kept him immortal. He was a cameo character in Harry Potter, dying at the age of 665 (or older) in Sorcerer's Stone. Perenelle was his wife.

**I am not a Christian and I really don't believe the Tower of Babel story but I thought it was fun to throw in here. The pun (Babel - babble) is a bit forced, I know, considering it's only a pun in English but whatever.

I didn't put this in the Crossovers section because while it is a crossover, it's more relevant to HZGG. And it's probably more likely to be found in the HZGG section anyway.


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